Holiday NIP Marathon

Just before Thanksgiving, my son, Josias came down with a nasty cold. The doctor referred to it as a "croupy virus." Thankfully, the doctor did not feel antibiotics were necessary. I might have saved myself a trip to the doctor's office, though. Josias has been sick a few times in his 19 months and he always knows exactly what he needs: for Mama to hold him and to breastfeed 24/7.

The last time Josias was sick, he was under a year old and was still breastfeeding frequently. This time, though, he is over a year and a half. In the last few months we have drastically reduced the frequency of breastfeeding sessions. I stopped pumping at work a few months ago, so I don't really have any milk in my breasts during the day.

This did not phase him. Milk or not, Josias needed Mama's boobies. So, boobies he got. 

Within a few days, most of Josias' symptoms had disappeared. This was good news since we were planning a trip to visit family over Thanksgiving. Once we got on the road, however, I noticed that although his symptoms had subsided, his desire to breastfeed had not. In fact his requests for "melky" were unending, and when at my breast, he would hold on to it for dear life (see photo, ouch).

Our Thanksgiving consists of a meal at my aunt's house. The number of guests feels like the population of a small town, but in fact is her extended family. After the meal, we sit around chatting while we wait for it to be time to eat again. We then make the rounds of our favorite restaurants in town. The entire trip is focused on eating, and usually in front of a lot of people.

Josias and I have done a lot of NIPing in his lifetime, and no one has ever said a negative word to me. But on this trip, I found myself in new territory. There I was in a different state, traipsing from one public place to another and breastfeeding my (very large, by the way) toddler continuously. For the first time, I felt a bit conspicuous and wondered if someone would say something to me.

The only person that said anything to me was my aunt. She asked questions about how long Josias would breastfeed, why he needs to breastfeed more when he's sick, and how it comforts him. My aunt has three grown children and did not breastfeed any of them. She wanted to know how breastfeeding works and feels, and the impact it has on bonding with a baby. I sensed a bit of regret that she hadn't had the opportunity to find out. As we left, she hugged me and told me what a great job I'm doing with Josias.

I hadn't known at the outset of the trip that we were entering a NIP marathon, but on the backside, I feel like we won the medal. Josias has fully recovered and is still breastfeeding like it's going out of style.

I wonder what NIP adventures our Christmas trip will bring.

Do your baby's breastfeeding habits change when he or she is sick?  Did they change as your baby grew into a toddler?

Photo credit: Author

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The Sleeping Habits of a Breastfed Baby (and his Mama)

When I was pregnant, I got so excited about the numerous benefits of breastfeeding. I read over and over about all the great things breastfeeding would do for mama and baby.

Even though I knew every baby (and every mama for that matter) is different, I wish I had known HOW different Josias and I were going to be when it came to breastfeeding. Maybe I could have prepared myself for what laid ahead.

Not for love or money would I give up the breastfeeding relationship I have with my son, but no matter how hard we tried, we just couldn't cash in on all the benefits the experts talk about. 

The most striking benefit that we could not seem to reap was regarding sleep. Many mothers expound upon the virtues of breastfeeding and how it helps them get more sleep. While that may be true for the masses, Josias and I just weren't feeling it.

Month 1

We had a rough go of breastfeeding at first.  Because my milk didn't come in (or perhaps it's more accurate to say, some "helping" professionals at the hospital convinced me that it didn't come in), we spent the first month of breastfeeding using a syringe to supplement with formula. At night, we were feeding every two hours, so with the need to supplement with a syringe, that did not result in a lot of sleep.

Months 2-3

After the first month we were able to stop supplementing completely, but it didn't get a whole lot better in the sleep department. I hadn't yet figured out that it would be a heck of a lot easier to co-sleep with Josias and feed him in bed than it was to keep him in the bassinet and get up every two hours and feed him in a chair. 

Around the second month, I got wise to this strategy and we started to fall into a rhythm. He started sleeping longer and longer, and by the third month, five straight hours of sleep was not outside the realm of possibility.

That was just about the time my maternity leave ended and I had to go back to work. I had visions of sleeping all night, being fully rested and being oh so productive at my job. Josias thought otherwise.  He wasn't going to take this new lack of access to the boob during the day lying down, so he pulled the ol' reverse cycling manuever.

Months 4-15

Months 4-15 consisted of breastfeeding every 2-3 hours throughout the night. Here again, many mothers talk about how co-sleeping saved their sanity by allowing them to pretty much sleep through feedings. My sanity was not to be spared. While it is infinitely easier logistically to co-sleep and to latch Josias on, being the light sleeper that I am, I just could not sleep through breastfeeding. Even worse, once I was awake to feed Josias, it took me a long time to get back to sleep.

Right around the twelve month mark I was starting to feel at my wit's end with exhaustion, so I began to research how I could gently encourage Josias to sleep longer. I tried a few of the strategies proposed by Elizabeth Pantley in her book, The No Cry Sleep Solution:

• I gave Josias a lovey to attach to instead of the breast (yeah, right!);
• I unlatched Josias over and over (and over) again as he fell asleep to get him accustomed to sleeping without the breast (nope, not having it);
• When he woke during the night, Papa tried soothing him back to sleep (absolutely not!);
• I put Josias on a separate mattress on the floor (this resulted in somewhat longer sleep in the initial hours of the night, but overall didn't yield the result I was hoping for).

Months 15-18

At 15 months I decided that I had reached my limit on the sleep deprivation front, and I also felt Josias was old enough for me to try something a little more assertive to help him sleep through the night. Our strategy was this: I would breastfeed Josias to sleep, and then my husband would sleep with him in a separate room to see if Mama's absence would encourage longer sleep. Against the advice of co-workers, family, friends, doctors and random strangers in line at the grocery store, crying it out is not something I considered. 

We decided that when Josias awoke and cried, Papa would try to soothe him back to sleep. If he cried for more than a few minutes or seemed really upset (I can usually tell from his cries if he'll go back to sleep without breastfeeding), I would come into the room and breastfeed him back to sleep and then return to the other room.

Over the course of two or three months, Josias started sleeping for longer and longer periods of time, and when he did wake, he became less and less upset about not having a boob at his disposal. At 18 months he now sleeps through the night about 95% of the time, still sleeping with Papa. Sleeping through the night means going to bed at 8pm and waking anywhere between 4-6am.

Month 18 and Beyond

I hope this post doesn't sound negative. Breastfeeding Josias has been one of the greatest joys of my life. I'm writing this to share my unrealistic expectations around breastfeeding and how we coped in the face of those. And although I have learned quite a bit over the last 18 months, looking back, I would not change a thing. Would Josias have started sleeping through the night sooner if I had employed the same strategy earlier?  Possibly. 

But, I wasn't ready to ask him to stop night feedings any sooner, and more importantly, I didn't think he was ready. I miss co-sleeping with Josias. As a mama who works full-time outside the home, I loved the time we spent together at night. But each mama and baby have to decide what is best for them and what works for them. I don't know if or how long Josias will continue to sleep through the night. I also don't know if there will come a time when we can resume co-sleeping.

What I do know is that we have found an arrangement that feels right for now. Josias is a happy, healthy boy, and we are doing the best we can, which is pretty darn good. 

When did your baby start sleeping through the night?  What was the experience like?

Photo credit: Author

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Today I Stop Pumping

It is a momentous day for me, and for my seventeen month old son, Josias. Today I will stop pumping breastmilk. At the height of Josias' breastmilk intake, I was pumping four times per day. One time early in the morning before work, and then three times at work. For the last two months I have been slowly eliminating one pumping session every few weeks. 

I had the most optimal work environment imaginable - a supportive boss, a private office, and a flexible schedule, all of which allowed me to pump three times a day, every day, right on schedule.  And it was still excruciatingly difficult.

I just couldn't seem to make enough milk to satisfy my beautiful, healthy, intelligent, growing boy.  I took Fenugreek and Goat's Rue; I ate oatmeal everyday; and I sipped Mother's Milk Tea. I ate well, I drank a lot of water and I exercised. I breastfed as much as possible when Josias and I were together, including up to six times per night. I saw a lactation consultant, who advised me to engage in breast compressions while pumping.

There were times when there was nothin' left in the freezer, and I wasn't sure if I had enough milk to see him through the day. I was so stressed about not making enough milk that I was surely preventing myself from making enough milk. Even though I realized this, I just couldn't stop worrying about it. Somehow, though, we squeaked by. 

Whenever I turned to someone for support, they always said, "just give him formula." If I had to supplement, I would have, but this was almost everyone's go-to response, and it was not helpful. What would have been helpful? Just listening, and maybe telling me I was doing great. Looking back now, I wish I could have eased up on myself a bit. I believe babies should get breastmilk whenever possible, but I also think sometimes conditions just don't allow you to meet the ideal, and us mamas need to be kind to ourselves and each other.

Now that I'm done pumping, Josias will drink organic almond milk at daycare along with the tons of food he consumes, and we'll breastfeed when we're together. I am so relieved not to have to pump anymore. I can finally admit that although it was my greatest desire to give Josias all the breastmilk he needed, pumping was a difficult and stressful thing for me. 

In addition to relief, I have other feelings coming up. I feel a bit weepy that my baby is growing up. I feel proud that we both hung in there and I provided for him as best I could. This also makes me think about the day when he will no longer breastfeed. That may be a couple years away, but I'm sure it will bring with it the same mixture of relief, sadness, pride and recognition that my baby is growing up, which is as it should be. Pumping has been a hard row for me to hoe, but the end result is my joyful son, my sweetheart, who we affectionately call Josias Pie.

Did you pump breastmilk? For how long? What was your experience like when you stopped?

Photo credit: Author

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Call for Volunteers

We want to continue growing here at NursingFreedom.org, and we want to make sure that we are listening to our readers, incorporating your suggestions, interacting and answering questions, and furthering our mission (to normalize breastfeeding - anytime, anywhere).
We are looking for a few good volunteers to help us stay connected with our readers and continue with the work we've started here at NursingFreedom.org.
Do you have a passion for normalizing breastfeeding and educating the public about breastfeeding issues? Do you have approximately one hour each week to volunteer? We need your help! Here are some of the volunteer positions you can get involved in:

• Manage Social Media: Help manage our Facebook, Twitter, StumbleUpon, and other social media accounts.
• Lactation Consultant: NursingFreedom.org would like to work with one or more volunteer lactation consultants who will agree to answer one or more reader questions each month about breastfeeding.
• Authors: We always need new content to feature on NursingFreedom.org. If you write about breastfeeding issues, we would love to publish your work. Please see our contributor guidelines for more details.
• Miscellaneous: Do you have a particular talent that would lend itself well to our community? Are you a political guru? Help us change some of the draconian breastfeeding laws! Are you an organizational genius? Help us organize our resource page! We will try to plug you in to utilize your talents.

If you want to help, we want to work with you. Please email Dionna {at} CodeNameMama {dot} com if you are interested, and we will send you our "volunteer expectations." 

Thank you for reading and supporting NursingFreedom.org.

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Pumping in Public: Riding the Rails

When it comes to exposing my body, I fall squarely on the side of modesty. Showing a stranger my private parts is not my idea of a good time. Soon after I became a mother, however, I learned something new about myself. When my baby is hungry or needs comfort, I will do whatever it takes to get him what he needs.

My NIP (nursing in public) initiation happened when my baby was three days old. I was still trying to figure out breastfeeding, let alone doing it in public. There we were in the middle of the DMV, and my son started wailing as only a hungry newborn can. It was as if a switch was flipped, and an as-yet untapped instinct kicked in. That instinct clearly told me to feed my baby first and deal with how I felt about it later. So, I lifted my shirt (exposing my recently pregnant and misshapen belly), undid my bra (with my large, pendulous boobs flapping in the breeze), and breastfed my baby. Maryland Department of Motor Vehicles think what you will!

I was stunned by my willingness to expose myself. But Josias stopped crying instantly and our NIP fate was sealed. I would breastfeed him anywhere, anytime. To heck with modesty and naysayers!

Since then I have breastfed in public a lot, including: a used car lot while haggling with a salesman; on planes and trains; on work trips in front of colleagues; at the mall; at the park; and on the street. I also breastfeed in front of family, friends, acquaintances and in-laws. I am both happy and surprised to report that nary a negative word has been said to me. So, you get it, right? While I don't relish everyone and their mother seeing my boobs, I really don't care as long as Josias gets what he needs.

Once I had mastered NIP, I thought I was fearless. That is, until one crazy-busy day with two long train rides. As a breastfeeding mother who works full-time outside the home, I rely heavily on my pump. When I have to be away from baby, it goes with me everywhere. A work trip which required a three hour train ride put me in new territory. I would not have any other time that day to pump except on the train rides back and forth. So, I had to ask myself, how do I feel about PIP (pumping in public, is that an acronym)?

The Amtrak train to Trenton would test my commitment to exclusively breastfeeding my baby. My reluctance was compounded by the fact that the only way I can get milk out while pumping is to engage in breast compressions. Could I do it? How would it work? Is it legal? Would I be embarrassed? Would people think I was crazy? Would someone report me? I went over it in my head for days. I asked people what they thought. I consulted all-knowing blogs and websites.

Finally, I decided pumping on the train was my only option and I would do it without embarrassment. I had to feed my baby and I had to ride the train. I made sure all my equipment was in order, I wore a big shawl to provide as much coverage as possible, and I went for it.The first session on the ride up to Trenton was uneventful. The train was sparsely occupied and I don't think a single person noticed. The ride back however, was jam-packed. The woman sitting next to me definitely knew something was up. I think she was afraid to investigate and didn't really want to know what that sound was or why I was seemingly fondling myself. After all was said and done, though, it really wasn't that big of a deal.

I learned two things that day. It IS possible (though, in my opinion certainly not preferable) to PIP. And I will truly do WHATEVER it takes to get my baby what he needs. To all the mamas out there that do whatever it takes to give babies what they need: YOU ARE AWESOME!

Have you pumped in pulic? How did it go?

Photo Credit: Roger Blackwell

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The Breastfeeding Friendly Skies

I recently boarded a plane en route to a destination far, far away with my 15 month old strapped to my chest. Many people, when asked, might prefer an invasive medical procedure over flying for six hours with an active toddler. Josias and I are not going to win any popularity contests on a plane.

As we board the airbus, most people surreptitiously study my movements in hopes of divining where I might sit. I imagine that they are praying to their god that it's not by them.

We find our (middle) seat, and I smile and give a friendly hello to the woman next to me. She grunts in response and seems none too pleased to have us for neighbors. What she doesn't knowis that this mama is armed with a strategy: fly with a friend, fly when baby is sleeping, and most importantly, breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed!

I have had a few flights where I wanted to slip Josias an elixir to subdue him, but for the most part, this strategy has served us well.

As the engine starts and the safety video begins, a latecomer slips into the seat next to me. He smiles, says hello, and then says, "congratulations on breastfeeding your baby." We chatted a bit more, but mostly we minded our own business. Josias slept and breastfed throughout the entire six hours. At the end of the flight, I thanked him for being so nice, and he smiled. He probably has no idea how his few simple words left this travelin' mama feeling supported and so lucky to have her babe with her on a long flight.

_________________________

We are honored to host a guest post today from Dena. Dena is a mama who works full-time outside the home. She stays attached to her son, Josias, through breastfeeding, babywearing and co-sleeping, not to mention bringing him with her on cross-country work trips. Dena blogs about motherhood, yoga and green living at Earth Mama Yoga.

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In Defense of Breastfeeding Dolls

Recently, I was halfway listening to a local morning news program when the newscaster began discussing a breastfeeding baby doll. The newscaster (a woman, by the way) was almost unable to make it through the story and repeatedly interjected comments along the lines of, “This is just too much!” I went online and did a search for the doll, which is called The BreastMilk Baby Doll. 

Apparently, the Atlanta affiliate was not the only one to pick up this story. Several news stations had run the same piece, and viewer comments on various stations’ websites were generally along the lines of these: “Why don't these pigs just make dolls who have sex for little girls and get it over with? This is really disgusting. How about a masturbating Bob doll for the boys? This is way beyond acceptable.” “Forget Ken And Barbie. Let’s all look forward to buying our children Bill and Monica dolls equipped with the latest accessories such as suction pumps, stain remover, and a realistic lie detector.”

Berjuan Toys, the doll’s maker, explains the need for a breastfeeding doll: “The Breast Milk Baby will revolutionize our nation’s attitudes to good infant health, while letting little girls share in the wonder and magic of motherhood. Shouldn’t they be ready for a healthy future?” If Berjuan has such good intentions, why were so many viewers and readers upset by this doll? There are a lot of things going on here.

First, as evidenced by the comments above, there is the same old, worn out thinking about breastfeeding as a sexual act. Believe it or not, the breasts were created to nourish babies and children. Shocking, I know. 

However, there’s something else going on in addition to the unwillingness to see breasts for more than chest decor. By continually sexualizing and attempting to shame breastfeeding, nursing will continue to be the nation’s second choice when it comes to nourishing our young. It’s a vicious cycle: breastfeeding is shamed, people forgo breastfeeding, thus it is further marginalized.

 Maybe The Breast Milk Baby is just what the lactavist ordered to begin taking steps towards normalizing and enculturating our youth towards breastfeeding. By providing girls with an alternative to baby dolls whose accessories include bottles, the choice to breastfeed when they become adults may become more normative.

At the end of the day, however, the parents who might buy this doll for their kids are probably already pro-breastfeeding. Someone who thinks that breastfeeding is the equivalent of fellatio in the Oval Office is probably not going to rush out and buy the doll. Until people stop seeing breasts as exclusively sexual, and, in turn, stop seeing the bottle as the go-to feeding device, The Breast Milk Baby is only going to fuel the fires of the close-minded who simply cannot or chose not understand what nursing is all about.

 Although I admit that I am not going to be shelling out $89 for the doll, I intend to do my part towards normalizing breastfeeding by nursing in public, engaging with the local breastfeeding community, and making sure my daughter (and anyone within earshot) knows that I am proud to nurse her and am pleased to make my mammaries more than decoration.

  What do you think about The Breast Milk Baby? How do you try to normalize breastfeeding?

 If you are interested in more efforts to normalize nursing, check out these resources:
 • Learn about your legal right to nurse in public . . . anytime, anywhere.
 • What’s Facebook got to do with it? The Facebook v. Breastfeeding controversy continues.
 • Check out the Indiscreet Breastfeeding Manifesto!

Photo Credit: Author

Mary Michael Pontzer writes at The Accidental Natural Mama. She lives in Georgia with her husband, fifteen month old daughter, four dogs, and a cat.

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