Let the Weaning Questions Begin

My nursling, Josias, is almost 2 years old. I no longer pump at work, so during workdays he does not get breastmilk while at daycare. When we are together mornings, nights and weekends, however, he is an ardent breastfeeder. 

Josias has reached the point of being able to talk about breastfeeding. For instance, though he may have just finished a 45 minute wake-up nursing session in bed, once out of bed, he may begin to scream MILKY!!  If not offered said milk instantaneously, his wails begin to sound as if he hasn't been fed for days. He has also begun to take intermittent breaks while nursing, engaging the "boobies" in conversation. He will frequently say "Hi boobies!" while waving enthusiastically. This morning as he was nursing, Josias smeared a piece of food on my breast. He then noisily unlatched himself, pointed and said, "Booby dirty!" Yes, thank you.

None of this bothers me.  I usually love it and sometimes find it rather amusing. Yet, as Josias has more and more words and we continue to breastfeed in public, something someone once said to me comes to mind: "If he's old enough to ask for it, he's too old." While I think this is utter nonsense, I may not be in the majority. 

Because I breastfeed in public and in front of other people frequently, I have always received questions about breastfeeding, including how long I intend to breastfeed. I never felt the questions were malicious, and I view the inquiries as an opportunity to share information about the benefits and joys of breastfeeding.

I don't have a goal, in terms of years or months, for how long Josias and I will breastfeed. We had a pretty rocky start, which included the need to supplement with formula for the first month. So, when I'm feeling a bit put upon by what sometimes feels like the relentless need for milky, I try to invoke the gratitude I feel for having this intense and special relationship with my son.

My goal is that we will breastfeed until Josias feels he is ready to stop. As Josias gets bigger, I hope that I will continue to feel comfortable breastfeeding in public. I anticipate receiving more questions about how long he will breastfeed, and I also hope that I can stay positive in my responses and use the opportunity to spread the good news about breastfeeding.

Until what age did you breastfeed in public?  How did you handle questions about weaning?

Photo credit: Author

Read More

The Joys of Nursing in Public #6

My story isn’t technically a NIP story, but it gives me such a warm and squishy feeling every time I think of it that I want to share it. A few weeks ago I was having a garage sale with a couple of my friends. We were hanging out in my garage, talking, drinking ice water, and selling our junk.

My four and half month old son started showing some hunger signs, and even though I was in my own garage, on my own property, I was slightly nervous about nursing him. What would I do if someone had the nerve to make a comment to me? What would I say? I think I was actually more nervous about nursing him there than I have been ever. I know my rights, I know my state’s laws, I know what to do and say if someone approaches me in public. But strangers saying something to me at my house?

I realized that I was being silly. Besides this being my property, one friend is a lactivist, the other is very pro-breastfeeding and I KNEW they’d have my back if anything were to happen. So, I sat down with my son, grabbed the Boppy, and started nursing him right as a couple of older people walked up the drive.

We all said hello and the couple browsed. The woman walked near me and started admiring my baby. “Oh!” she said, “that is the best thing for him!” And she started telling me about her grand-daughter who lives in Chicago and breastfeeds her daughter. “She’s about 18 months now. And don’t you know? They taught her sign language for 'milk!' I could never breastfeed my children. I couldn’t… you know, make a nipple.” (I think maybe she meant she had flat or inverted nipples. )
This woman, who we found out was in her 80s, went on and on to me about how amazing it is to breastfeed, even though she wasn’t able to nurse her own kids! I was nervous to nurse in my own garage and this great-grandmother turned it all around for me. I was smiling and happy the rest of the day! It also made me excited to hear about a woman who is still breastfeeding at 18 months and is obviously doing things so well that she impresses her own grandmother! We all know that our mothers and grandmothers can be the hardest ones to win over, if they didn’t breastfeed, and I feel a sense of pride for a woman in Chicago who has a grandmother as great as this one!

________________________

Rebecca lives with her husband, sons, and dog, in Dayton, OH. She’s a SAHM who enjoys reading, playing Candyland, breastfeeding, and gardening. Rebecca blogs at Completely Serendipitous.

Photo credit: Hannah

Despite the fact that negative nursing in public experiences get the publicity, more women receive the kindness and thanks from strangers for making breastfeeding a normal sight.
We want to share your positive stories so that other breastfeeding mothers and mothers-to-be will be inspired and encouraged to N.I.P. If you have a positive N.I.P. story, please contact us. We will include them in the series and credit you, your site, or post it anonymously if you so desire.

Read More

The Joys of Nursing in Public #5

Today we are happy to host a guest post by Christiana. Christiana Dominguez's first daughter, Thomasina, was born March 1, 2010. She spent the first 10 weeks hating breastfeeding and every week since trying to prolong it through the trials of full-time work and boobs that hate the pump. She's an attorney by day and a former political blogger who now prefers to write about public policy, parenting, and whatever strikes her fancy at FidgetFace (her NIP posts are tagged LactationLocations). She lives in California with her daughter, husband, and two cats who are jerks. Here is her nursing in public guest post.

_____________________

Sometime during my daughter's second or third week of life, I was convinced I had developed a nasty yeast infection or a screaming case of mastitis or both - yes - preferably both. I sat in the examination room as the doctor examined me, nixed the notion of infection, and gave me some breastfeeding pointers. She told me it took her about six weeks to get in a groove with her daughter.

Six weeks. Six weeks?

I couldn't see past tomorrow and did my best to blink back hot, frustrated tears. It was the worst clean bill of health I'd ever received.

In the end, it took me a full ten weeks to hit my own breastfeeding groove with my daughter - to reach a place I never thought I'd find.

The Diction of Public Breastfeeding

Having decided to take advantage of the many baby-related coupons that magically appear in your mailbox after you give birth, my husband and I took our daughter to the mall for some department store portraits. On the way to the store, a rival company offered us a coupon and the promise of no-waiting, so we let them waste time trying to coax a smile out of her as well. The extra stop added unexpected time-away-from-home to our day. By the time we were reviewing proofs, my daughter began to demand some food - rendering me incapable of concentrating on the merits of 10x13s versus 8x10s.

We had the boppy with us as a prop for the photos because it matched her outfit, so I grabbed it and the baby and went to work.

The storefront happened to be a corner unit in the mall, and we happened to be viewing photos in the corner of that glass-enclosed fishbowl. I suppose I paused for a moment to consider that I couldn't have found a more public, "look at me!" place to feed my child as mall shoppers strolled past looking at the cute kids and photos on display, but her squawks and coos demanded attention.

I mentioned to the gal showing us our proofs that I hope she didn't mind. She said, no no, of course, she's not bothered, she'd just be concerned that I was embarrassed. And right then I realized "embarrassed" is probably the least applicable word for breastfeeding in public.

Self-conscious, sure, sometimes. Frustrated and fumbling trying to balance the kid and a privacy cover or a blanket, yeah. But I think I'd only feel embarrassed if someone else said something to make me so. Her comment also did - just by implying that I should be or might be embarrassed. To be fair, she didn't imply that I should be. But there must be that presumption in the premise of the comment, you know? Like, who wouldn't be embarrassed?

It was actually the most comfortable public feed I've done yet because I had that stupid boppy with me. Usually I'm wadding up blankets and shoving them under her head and then doubling-over and trying to grow a third hand to hold everything. I never would've thought I would be so, uh, free and easy with my boob. I think a large part of my comfort comes from the sheer joy of escaping the house and being out in the world after those intense, cloistered first weeks of motherhood. I'm also just too tired to move somewhere else to feed in most cases.

I don't necessarily advocate that every mom whip it out all over town if that's beyond her comfort level. Nor am I looking for some kind of breastfeeding extra credit. That morning at the mall, however, was just another quiet reminder of how different my world is now. To me, it's the power of biology requiring that I attend to my child's needs trumping the societal construct that breasts are inherently sexual and meant to be covered in all contexts, always. It's a special kind of liberty that we should - if we could - all enjoy, especially considering that some women in other countries can't even show their faces, let alone a quick flash of breast, in public.

Perhaps most notably, during any of my daughter's public meals, I have yet to receive a single negative comment from a stranger, nor really so much as a sideways glance that I've noticed.

I'm sure that has to do with me simply not looking.

________________________

Despite the fact that negative nursing in public experiences get the publicity, more women receive the kindness and thanks from strangers for making breastfeeding a normal sight.

We want to share your positive stories so that other breastfeeding mothers and mothers-to-be will be inspired and encouraged to N.I.P. If you have a positive N.I.P. story, please contact us. We will include them in the series and credit you, your site, or post it anonymously if you so desire.

Read More

The Joys of Nursing in Public #4

Today we are happy to host a guest post by Casey. Casey resides in Upstate New York with her husband Jason and two daughters, Anabella 3 1/2 years and Elsie 7 months. The whole family enjoys practicing the attachment parenting lifestyle. Here is her nursing in publicguest post.

_____________________

Casey tandem nurses her four month old
and 3 1/2 year old in a Moby wrap.

This is a picture of my first tandem nursing in public experience, and it was taken at a hospital. My three year old had a minor day surgery, and as luck would have it, she needed comforting at the same time my four month old was ready to eat. We were at the hospital in a patient recovery area with about six other patients, and while tandem nursing them at home was a regular occurrence for us, I had never tandemed in public, especially with a three year old hooked up to wires!

I started nursing them, and in walked the nurses. "Great!," I thought. 

I was ready with a comeback as to why my three year old needed to nurse, how it was not child abuse, etc., when the older nurse started to gush about how wonderful it was that I was tandem nursing.

After I got over the initial shock - not only was she happy about me tandem nursing, but she was also encouraging me to continue nursing my daughter as long as possible - she then went on to tell me how she had had home births, coslept, breastfed, etc. We then talked about how we also have had home births, have a family bed, etc. It was great! 

Her encouragement and support made me comfortable to tandem nurse my girls in a room of strangers.  

________________________

Despite the fact that negative nursing in public experiences get the publicity, more women receive the kindness and thanks from strangers for making breastfeeding a normal sight.

We want to share your positive stories so that other breastfeeding mothers and mothers-to-be will be inspired and encouraged to N.I.P. If you have a positive N.I.P. story, please contact us. We will include them in the series and credit you, your site, or post it anonymously if you so desire.

Read More

The Joys of Nursing in Public #3

Today we are happy to host a guest post by Ashley. Ashley Scott-Fisher is a Birth & Postnatal Doula and mumma to two gorgeous little people! Here is her nursing in public guest post.

_____________________

We had just gotten to the children's play area in the park. As my two-year-old daughter ran off to play, I heard the familiar sound of my newborn son trying to tell me he was hungry.

I had only breastfed in public a few times, and I was still very nervous about doing it. It was a sunny summer day, the park was packed, and there were no seats on the benches. I first tried to calm my son by walking around (he was in his sling on my front) - this only worked temporarily, and after a few minutes he started to really cry in hunger.

So I made a decision: I am going to feed him, right here, standing up! I pulled up my top, and as I attempted to latch him on in the sling, a nearby mother called me and said "come and sit over here, you should have asked us to move - your baby has every right to eat his lunch!"

It was such a small thing, but it meant so much. I fed my son - in public! - and I felt confident and accepted while doing so. I just wish ALL mothers could feel like that every time they breastfeed in public!

_____________________

Despite the fact that negative nursing in public experiences get the publicity, more women receive the kindness and thanks from strangers for making breastfeeding a normal sight.

We want to share your positive stories so that other breastfeeding mothers and mothers-to-be will be inspired and encouraged to N.I.P. If you have a positive N.I.P. story, please contact us. We will include them in the series and credit you, your site, or post it anonymously if you so desire.

Read More

The Joys of Nursing in Public #2

Today we are happy to host a guest post by Dawn. Here is her nursing in public guest post.
_____________________

NursingFreedom.org co-founder Dionna nurses her own
almost-three-year-old, Kieran (it's not in Dawn's Whole
Foods, but it's in a comfy chair all the same!)

One of my favorite places to stop and nurse when out shopping is, believe it or not, a public rest room.

My local Whole Foods Market has a bright, spacious rest room, complete with a big, cushioned chair that's very comfortable for nursing. I've seen similar rest rooms--and chairs--at other Whole Foods Markets (and no, I don't work for them! I just believe in pointing out a great nursing-friendly venue when I see one).

When my first child was an infant I would often be found in the Whole Foods rest room's comfy chair, singing show tunes (they were my baby's lullabies, and dang, those tiled walls give a great reverb!). I never had anyone give me any negative reaction to my nursing (or my singing, for that matter). Either I would get friendly smiles or averted eyes.

One time a woman asked me, with a warm chuckle, if I would come and sing to her while she had her lunch too.

That rest room's comfy chair turned into a jungle gym for my daughter after she weaned, and back into a nursing chair when her younger brother came along. He's still nursing strong at the ripe old age of two and ten months, and we are still frequently seen nursing, and sometimes singing too, in that chair.

This week when I stopped to nurse my son in the Whole Foods rest room armchair, an employee came in to sweep up. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw my son at the breast. "How old is he?" she asked.

Oh, no, I thought. I've been nursing in public for four years and haven't gotten a snide remark yet. Please, lady, don't go there.

"He's almost three," I answered calmly.

"And you're STILL nursing him?"

Oh, crap, we ARE going there. Keep nursing, keep smiling, hold your head up.

"Yes I am," I said evenly.

"How long do you plan to keep nursing?"

Breathe, be pleasant, don't get defensive, just educate.

"It's up to my son to decide when it's time to stop."

"That's AMAZING!" the woman exclaimed. "I've NEVER seen anyone nurse that long! I stopped nursing when my baby was one, because my doctor told me to. Big mistake! Doctors are idiots when it comes to nursing. When I have another baby I'm going to nurse a lot longer than that. Maybe even as long as you! Good for you for still nursing! You're an inspiration!"
_____________________

Despite the fact that negative nursing in public experiences get the publicity, more women receive the kindness and thanks from strangers for making breastfeeding a normal sight.
We want to share your positive stories so that other breastfeeding mothers and mothers-to-be will be inspired and encouraged to N.I.P. If you have a positive N.I.P. story, please contact us. We will include them in the series and credit you, your site, or post it anonymously if you so desire.

Read More